Playing with Better Players

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By Skip Guss

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  • 24 Replies
  1. Skip Guss

    Skip Guss
    Marlborough, MA

    Playing with better players can be extremely challenging. You feel intimidated by their abilities & overall presence on the course….you feel like a fool as you can’t keep up with them…you don’t want to hold them up or be a burden….etc., etc. Right? Well, this needs to stop RIGHT NOW! And…let me relate a story as to how you can stop this destructive thought process.

    Mary Lou (my girlfriend at the time…we are now married), introduced me to skiing. Mary Lou is a GREAT skier…a PGA TOUR-caliber skier, matter of fact!

    Thus, when I started out…I SUCKED (for those who know me, they KNOW I am telling the truth, too!!! Lol). Everything I could do wrong…I did!!!! EVERYTHING! And, as I was skiing with great skiers, I was always holding them up, dragging them down. I felt it…and I KNEW IT!

    One day, we were skiing, and I was NOT skiing very well. Everyone was well ahead of me…#$%! I pulled up, buried my ski poles in the snow, and REALLY got pissed! I HATED SKIING…AND MYSELF!!!! Then…all of a sudden…my brain kicked in…and I began to rationalize the situation:

    Mary Lou. and all of our friends we were skiing with that day, have been skiing for years! They have made thousands and thousands of runs on the slopes over the years. Me? I had only started a few years ago, and had just started to learn. Why was I beating myself up? When they were at my stage, they skied just like me! The only difference between me and them was time…over the many years of skiing…over time…they all became great skiers! Thus, I rationalized while standing there…that the only thing I needed, to become a better skier…was more time!

    With my new…and better outlook…I skied much better the rest of the day. Certainly not as good as my friends…but better for me. I was NOT intimidated by their fantastic abilities…I simply skied to the best of my abilities at the time…and had a GREAT day!

    So…remember my story when you are playing with better players. In most cases…the reason they are better than you…at that moment in time…is due to the fact that they have been playing longer than you. We ALL struggled when we first started playing… we all hit terrible shots and had terrible scores in the beginning…it is simply part of the learning process that ALL of us have experienced.

    Understand this…chill out…and have fun! After all, for 99% of all golfers…it is just a game…a game we enjoy experiencing with friends and loved ones! They want you to succeed…they will do everything they can to help you succeed. Realize this so you can enjoy success!

  2. Todd T

    Todd T
    San Diego, CA

    Military
    I find it easier to play with better players as I can learn from them. I learned early that trying to swing out of my socks in trying to keep up with them was only detrimental to my game and psyche! And something also, most better players aren't really concerned with what you're doing as long as you aren't slowing down the game!
  3. brian f

    brian f
    Middle Village, NY

    Well Skip. I dont mind playing with people of any ability level. We have all been at the starting point. No matter how long you've been playing or how good or bad you are it shouldn't matter. It's all about playing to the best of your ability and getting the most enjoyment out of each and every round. There always seems to be at least one shot a round that keeps us all coming back to play.
  4. Speedy

    Speedy
    East Coast, NH

    Amen! I've had this issue in the past and learning over the years to just have fun and enjoy the company.

    I actually enjoy playing with players better than me, it pushes me to be better OR I pick up a few things from watching them play. Most of these players are from TT that I've met over the years and boy some of them are really good and fun to watch. And some of the nicest guys around.

    I'm slowly learning that if I'm having a s***ty day, shrug it off, laugh, have a few cocktails and move on. There's a reason I have a full time job. One goal of mine this year is less drama and tons of more fun on the course.

    Thanks for the post Skip, well done.
  5. Rich T

    Rich T
    Shrewsbury, MA

    Love this, Skip.

    "Understand this…chill out…and have fun! After all, for 99% of all golfers…it is just a game…a game we enjoy experiencing with friends and loved ones! They want you to succeed…they will do everything they can to help you succeed. Realize this so you can enjoy success!"

    Thanks for sharing.
    Rich
  6. Frank P

    Frank P
    Port St. Lucie, FL

    Military
    Here is what an outstanding player once told me " If you were a nice person to play with, I'm going to remember that long after any bad golf shots that you hit. Conversely, if you shot a 68 and acted like a jerk for 18 holes, I'm not going to remember the score, just the jerk." I get to play with a lot of PGA Club Pro's during the winter and they are a lot of fun to play with and I'm no great player by any means. Hey, these pro's play with their members during the season.
  7. Johnny Tee

    Johnny Tee
    Mississauga, ON

    Frank P said:

    Here is what an outstanding player once told me " If you were a nice person to play with, I'm going to remember that long after any bad golf shots that you hit. Conversely, if you shot a 68 and acted like a jerk for 18 holes, I'm not going to remember the score, just the jerk." I get to play with a lot of PGA Club Pro's during the winter and they are a lot of fun to play with and I'm no great player by any means. Hey, these pro's play with their members during the season.

    I think this really hit the bullseye.
  8. Skip Guss

    Skip Guss
    Marlborough, MA

    Love the comments, everyone! You all are great!

    One advantage to playing with REALLY good players...their tempo...rhythm...and "effortless power" can REALLY help players of lesser ability. Watch & absorb the "feelings" your eyes see....wonderful stuff!
  9. Chuck Z

    Chuck Z
    Mt Pleasant, SC

    Military
    Definitely advantageous to play with golfers you can learn from. I play at least once a week with a PGA teaching professional who use to play on the tour many years ago. He has helped my game a lot. Guess the biggest thing that I have picked up from him is the importance of tempo and managing my shots. I seem to pick up something small every time we play and we have a great time playing together. When I hit a truly good shot, he always responds with BUTTER.
    Great feeling. I have always wanted to play with better golfers, being I started the crazy game in 1984 at the age of 38, when we moved to Charleston. Self taught. Learned that softball and golf do not mix.
  10. Elson C

    Elson C
    Southgate

    We all have been there.
    I have played city tournaments with scratch players, right after I picked up a club for the first time.
    I was put on a foursome with 3 awesome players for the qualifying round on my very first City of Taylor golf tournament.
    I initially felt bad for holding them up.
    But to my surprise they were very gracious on how they treated me that day, on the par 71 course we played, they shot mid to high 60s, I on the other hand shot a lovely 140.
    I learned a lot that day, the round to me became more of a playing lesson than a bad round of golf.
    Every time I topped the ball, one of them helped me out with the proper set up.
    I watched and learned how they took their time to read the greens and then to putt.
    I was cheered on every one of the few good shots I hit that day.
    I had my very first birdie on the last hole of our round.
    I still remember, a par four, the 9th hole of Taylor Meadows.
    I sliced my tee shot on the tall grass just outside of the hazard.
    I hit my 9 over the green the ball came to rest on the far side of the green between the fringe and the first cut.
    One of my playing partners seeing my look of confusion on what to play next, took his time to help me with my options, I could try to chip or putt.
    He helped me pick a line and from there I took a good wack with my putter, following the fringe line of the green, the ball rolled 3/4s of the green on the fringe line, then it picked up the slope left towards the hole and died dead center to the hole.
    Pretty special to me.
    I came dead last on that years tournament and the next year, however I have had fun every time, I did hurt my back after the second year and have not played on the championship since 2012. I might play this year depending on my back.
    I have gotten much better with the years, still I am a high handicapper who just enjoy the game.
    I have also played with first timers and I enjoy helping someone to get their first steps into the game,
    Golf is an absolutely fantastic game where most people understand the struggles of it and are willing to see you thru it, regardless of how bad you play.



  11. Joshua B

    Joshua B
    Connecticut

    I got paired up as a single one day to play with the Uconn golf team! Super intimidating at 1st but people are people and golf is the great equalizer. I do tend to step up and play better when playing with better players. It's the king distance hitters that throw me off, as I inevitably swing out of my boots to keep up.
  12. trevor p

    trevor p

    Sadly, I have no choice but to play with better players. I working on it though....
  13. SammyC

    SammyC

    I enjoy playing with all different skill level players. If I play with someone better than me, I will watch and learn.. and sometimes ask for advice or what not.
    If I’m playing with someone not as good, I seems to be pulling for them to play better and will offer advice once they ask.
    As you all know, golfers are the best people on EARTH and enjoy playing with all types of skill level
    Players.
  14. Jerome C

    Jerome C
    London Ontario Canada

    Skip as always very positive and great Advice .
    Thank you (Now I have to forward this on to my Wife )
    Enjoy the rest of the season .
  15. Jeff Martin

    Jeff Martin
    Lynchburg, VA

    I catch myself at times getting very frustrated and have to remind myself that this is just a game to relax. Don't get me wrong I always put forth my best effort, but my family doesn't really on my golf skills to eat. LOL! Relax and have fun.
  16. Lance P

    Lance P
    Hillsborough, NC

    You can learn so much just by observing a "better" player! One of the main reasons they shoot a lower score
    (besides talent) is they minimize their mistakes. If they are in trouble they get out with minimal damage. I might be in the trees and instead of the easy and smart punch-out into the fairway I go for the green, flail and fail, and then do my best Nancy Kerrigan imitation: "Why? Why? Why?"!
  17. Kurt K

    Kurt K

    Don't mind playing with better players anymore. It's like getting a "playing" lesson. Even as a 2 handicap I learn a lot (many times what not to do). Still enjoy playing with anyone who has a love of the game and has a good time on the course.
  18. Ben A

    Ben A
    Los Gatos, CA

    +1 on the I play better with better players. I actually play worse with less experienced players. I feel bad for them, I watch their swings, I want them to feel better about themselves...

    Man, I need to cut that out and give them something to aspire to, right? ;-)
  19. MRodriguez

    MRodriguez

    I play better with better players. I always try to ride with the best player in our group during our Men's Club tournaments. I know if i am keeping up with the better player i stand a better chance to win my flight.
  20. JScott77

    JScott77

    I play with my club’s champ (a 28 year old +4) as often as possible. He is always willing to give constructive feedback, I play better when i play with him, and mostly, I learn from him. His simple way of reading greens has helped me a lot. I’m a 5 handicap and feel I can always get better inside 100 yards. Granted, he flies his drive further than I can hit mine and he is two clubs long than me but it’s all good. All that said, I will play with anyone. Golfing is a huge way to relax and unwind and most golfers I play with are really good people.
  21. Chris G

    Chris G

    It's 100% true that good players could care less about how you're hitting the ball as long as you're a nice person to play with and you keep up with the pace. Everything else is nonsense.

    I consider myself a good player, but I definitely wasn't born that way. It took a lot of work over a lot of time as Skip figured out on the slopes.

    I regularly play with 20 handicappers and +4 handicappers. As long as they're pleasant to be around and don't hold the group up much, I'll happily play with them again any time.
  22. Sebastien D

    Sebastien D
    Mascouche, Qc

    I get loads of people that get intimidated by my drives and abilities (but I am only a 3hdcp)

    I can bomb some balls of 300+ yards without an issue.

    I remember playing with a group of 3 ladies.
    Hole #1 is a 406 yards par 4, I had 100 left in.
    Hole #2 185 yard par 3 with very little margin for error. Got it close and I was 2 under after 2. One of the ladies, couldn't hit the ball. She was nervous and scared of slowing me down. I was in no rush...lol

    On the third tee, 520 yards par 5, I had a group discussion. I asked her why she was nervous and she explained the above reasons. I calmly explained to her that unfortunately she was terribly wrong. She was going to wait after me all day. She didn't believe me.

    I went on to explain that I can reach every par 5 on our course in 2 shots so I have to wait until the group ahead is cleared over 300 yards before I can tee off and cleared of the green on par 5's.

    At the end of the day, on 18, she told me I was right and she was happy that I broke the intimidation factor she was living at the beginning of the round. I can now play with them without a worry. They are fun ladies also.

    Don't be intimated or scared. Golf is a big social walk for 4.5h while taking in some sun and enjoying a challenge.
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