I’d “take a hack” at it...bah dum dum

Sure, I'll start. Speaking of trying times....

This Covid era has contributed immensely to the amount of play most golf courses are getting, due to the idea that golf is a safe way to get exercise. So, many people who never played the game, or had just a passing interest in it have been taking it up with a vengeance. Unfortunately for those of us who take it quite seriously, a good percentage of this new group of course fillers have no idea how to play the game or of the etiquette that goes along with it. So everyday, I get an eyeful from one or another of these newbies, which sometimes you just have to say to yourself, "What planet are these people from?" For example....

The guy who came into the pro shop one day last week and asked the pro if he could rent TEES and a bucket of range balls to use on the course for his round of golf with his kids. I looked at the pro and he looked at me and I have no idea how either one of us didn't burst out laughing. (We finally did, once the guy left.) The pro ended up selling the guy 2 dozen low end Pinnacles or something similar for about 25 bucks, and rented him three sets of clubs for him and each of his two kids. Another $75. Oh, and he GAVE him a handful of tees. At the turn, the guy stopped in and bought two more dozen golf balls!

Funny thing is, there was no complaint about their pace of play, even though you would certainly expect there to be. Turns out most of the groups behind them weren't much better.

My whole course has been taken over by newbies it seems. And I just don't understand it. It is a high-end, high-difficulty course (137 slope from the blues). Why would you pay nearly 300 bucks in green fees and 75 dollars for club rentals for you and your sons, plus another 50 bucks for 4 dozen cheapo golf balls to play a course on which you don't have a prayer of ever breaking 125? Why not just go to Top Golf or something? Or some other junk track where green fees are 30 or 40 bucks with a slope rating of 100 or so? Makes no sense.

Another evening, I was playing behind a couple who looked like they had never been on a course before. She was swinging and missing out on the fairway and he was standing next to her telling her what she should do to hit it better. When she missed another few times, he stepped in to show her and topped the ball about 5 yards. Talk about the blind leading the blind!

Same couple awhile later. Very steep uphill par 3 with forced carry to the run-up area. They never bothered to tee off. I guess they knew they had no chance of clearing the hazard area. So instead, they drive to the base of the hill and park their cart on the cart path 100 yards before the green at the bottom of the hill. Then they walk out and drop balls in the run-up area and hit three or four shots each before making it to the top of the hill and finally onto the green where they each took another 4 or 5 putts to get the ball into the hole. However, once they reached the green they realized they would need putters. So Mr. Clueless runs the 100 yards back down the hill to the cart to get their putters, then turns around and runs back up the hill to the green, leaving their cart STILL a football field away at the bottom of the hill! All this time, I'm standing there on the tee waiting on them! Of course when they finally putt out, they have to come BACK down the hill to their cart which is sitting closer to me on the tee than it is to them on the green. I was ready to scream, but I kept my cool and looked for the humor in it all. They never had any idea how disruptive their movements were to those behind them. They just didn't get it.

I could go on and on with these types of stories, 95% of which are as a result of the new "Covid" crowd. Like the guys I had to tell that you can't drive your cart on or up next to the green. He didn't get what I meant. He pointed to another cart on the adjacent fairway. He said, "Well, they are driving on the green." At which I needed to explain, "No they are driving on the fairway. You are driving on the green. Two completely different things." This story is much longer, but I'll give you a break. For now. I have dozens more.

New verbiage on course needed. When they don't know FORE - you'll need INCOMING - DUCK!!! Wonder if Pinnacles can be designed to have a whistle while in flight, sort of like an artillery shell.

Regarding people who have never played the game at a weird time; Our courses normally close in early November. A few years ago the Wednesday of the week before Thanksgiving, courses having been closed for several weeks due to winter weather, the forecast was for low 60's. A check at my local public course and they announced opening for the day. I called a buddy and we set up two tee times. Seven of us show and our first group tees off after a hacker threesome, who it turned out had never played the game. What would prompt someone to go out to play in winter when you've never played before?

By the second tee all 7 of us are waiting. The course packed ahead of them, too. We weren't going anywhere! Two of us in a cart, the rest walking. The cart went back to the clubhouse and bought all of the remaining beer in the cooler. Having been closed, they didn't have much stock, not more than 2-3 of any brand. We played as a 7-some, drinking beer, enjoying a bonus day and a 3 hour nine hole round. Any other time, we'd have been all hacked off at it being so slow, but on this day we didn't mind one bit.

Doug E,

I feel your pain! Especially the part about the couple leaving the cart behind. I am not sure why new golfers seem to think it is a good idea to hit a shot and then not bring your clubs along to where the ball lands!

If people pay the fees, don’t damage the course and keep up a decent pace who cares why they pay any course and what value others think they get out of the experience.

Regarding the guy with the kids at the “high-end, high-difficulty course”, maybe money isn’t an object and he just wanted to entertain his kids..

I concur; everyone could benefit from some good news.

That is really good idea.

Yeah, I see "newbies" at our course and you can really tell. I think someone needs to remind them to:

1) Move up a tee. They often think they should be playing from some back tees for some reason, but they would have so much more enjoyment if they would just move up to the reds or the front tees. No shame in being a beginner.

2) If they are in real trouble like laying 5 or 6 in the rough, they need to just pick up and get up to the green. All newbies need to have some kind of "double par" rule when once they have maxed out a score, they should just put ball in hand and head to the next tee. No one wants to wait on someone hitting their 9th or 10th shot.

3) Perhaps dedicate a Monday or Sunday afternoon for a New Golfers time. Provide a discount and a warning to the regulars that the pace of play may be slower as brand new golfers will be out on the course.

A few guidelines such as this would seem to really move things along. But alas, you see brand new golfers on a Sat morning and unfortunately, I don't think they are having much fun as they have to let several groups play through.

#2 tell that one to Tiger, HA HA HA.

They don’t know play thru that is one of the problems. Our 19th hole is great where we play they set a table out under the trees for us to have drinks and do are bets I mean score. Since you can’t go in the clubhouse love our track

*Husband*:
My wife is missing.
She went out yesterday and has not come home...

*Police Sergeant*:
What is her height?

*Husband*:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

*Sergeant*:
Colour of eyes?

*Husband*:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

*Sergeant*:
Colour of hair?

*Husband*:
Changes a couple times a year.
Maybe dark brown now.
I can’t remember.

*Sergeant*:
What kind of car did she go in?

*Husband*:
She went in my Car

*Sergeant*:
Was there anything of value in the car?

*Husband*:
Yes, my golf clubs

Titleist TS3 9 degree driver with Tensei Orange TX flex CK60 with 74 Tungsten Prepreg shaft
Titleist TS3 15 degree Fairway wood with Hzrdus 6.5x 76g shaft
Titleist 3-4 718 TMB irons with Nippon modus 120 x shafts
Titleist 718 AP2 irons 5-50deg with nippon modus 120 x shafts
Titleist Vokey Sm8 52,56 & 60 degree wedges
Scotty Cameron Newport 2.5 35 inch putter with Superstroke Pistol GT tour Skull grip
Titleist mid Staff bag
Nikon range finder
12 x pro V1s
3 x Titleist players Golf gloves
Titleist towel
Alignment sticks and Stitch leather cover
Dubai Hills by Jumeirah bag tag

Doug,
That is funny. Glad to see you kept your cool in all of that! You should write these stories down. It might make for a good book!!